Console me in my darkest hour

Writing is conceivably the most therapeutic way to deal with my feelings.
I wrote letters to myself last night. It helped remarkably.
I hope that when I look back on them I'll realize how insignificant these events and emotions were. Or perhaps I'll understand why they were so important.

We studied love and attraction in Psychology today. It was very interesting.

Fact of the Day: I love singing along to Frank Sinatra with my boyfriend.

The secret that wants to be known

Kate Winslet is genius.
In every way possible.

This is so true.
I'm sure everyone has felt this way at one time or another.


Allison!
She recieved best photo. I'm so proud :)

When the lights go out

So I realized, I have every reason in the world to be happy and grateful.
I have Starbucks, a best friend, a boy friend, a wonderful family, and my health.
Seriously, what else do I need?



Writing is so much fun. This is from my current novel:

Hypocrisy is a faltered human quality. Most suppose that we’ll all hypocrites; that we can’t help but do what we believe is wrong. As if to say, a liar hated when he was lied to. However, we all don’t have to contradict ourselves. We have a choice. Naturally, it will be hard, but so are the other significant choices in life. I was convinced that every person that attended my High school knew they were a fraud, in some way or another. They had to know that. How could they not? They dressed in their catholic uniforms, and began their mornings with a passage from the Bible, yet when they were free from judgment, they acted equivalent to the unsaved sinners of the world. Such a paradox, isn’t it? This is the precise reason why I chose to give up on their style, and to generate one of my own. I knew I was a sinner and I didn’t pretend to be otherwise. I was a strong advocate of equality among all human beings. No matter what their prerogative, no matter what their religion, their beliefs, they were all the same. Whether, we want to admit it or not, we all have an agenda, a reason to why we get out of bed each morning. My reason was simple. A voice is the back of my head said I had too.I obeyed it every morning without fail. And so the morning comes, uninvited yet mandatory. The dreariness of the sky as the sun waits to emerge seems to drag on eternally. My mind and body gave a tough fight this time, it strained to dwell in its dream world. As always, it feared the day to come. When I’m only dreaming, the real world can’t touch me. My life is but a castle in the sky, free of all immoral and wicked things. But my liberated outlook could only exist for so long. Eventually, the day must start somehow.©

Listen

"Listen to the mustn'ts child, Listen to the don'ts
Listen to the shouldn'ts, The impossibles the wont's,
Listen to the never haves, Listen close to me,
Anything can happen child, Anything can be."



I ended up going to the tea party they had at the capital last week. It was absolutely crazy. The trains were packed with people, I've never seen it that bad.
People were really into it. It was a nice experience.


I went to see Megan last night for a couple hours.
I think I should do that every Monday night.

I have so much to get done. I have a paper to write, and finals to study for. blah, blah, blah. At least thats all I'm complaining about.

I absolutely love this song. It's been calming me down lately.

But you're still young and out of line

Must my weekends always end in distaster?
I feel like crawling up in a ball and staying there.
But then again, there are still things worth fighting for.

Coffee rehab isn't going very well. A cup of coffee would defiantly calm me down right now, as ironic as that sounds.

I've been sucked into Americas Next Top Model. In my defense, it's very addicting.
I really want Allison to win. She's looks like an adorable bunny.

My life has become a boring pop song and everyone's singing along.

I thought I was going to outsmart the pollen this year. But once again, the allergies have attacked. It's 40 degrees outside currently. This is by far the strangest spring I have ever seen.
I've gotten really far in my novel. I must say, I'm really loving this one.
It should be done very soon.


The one thing thats better than writing, is being read to.
I love it :)

In heaven, we will all be free

I trust the universe knows what it's doing.
I'm not going to try to fight this time.
But I have a wonderful plan.
I will be free.

"A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you."

How does one become a butterfly?

I feel sick to my stomach.
I so desperately wanted to do well this semester. And the chances of me getting the HOPE scholarship are slim to none.
It's so hard to do your best when you have a parent literally holding you back.
Mental note: Apparently turning 18 doesn't change a thing.
I don't really know what's important anymore...maybe I should let this go.

If only I could really begin to believe this way.

I do believe in faeries, I do, I do.

"Sometimes I see the world for what it really is, sometimes it sees me."
Those are the first words that crossed my mind this morning, after having a dream I was turning 19 tomorrow.
I think I'm afraid of growing older. No, I'm positive I'm afraid of growing older. I feel like I'm 30 already. I must be an old soul.
Thankfully, I wont be 19 for 11 more months. And 19 is so young...I better get over this soon.

Imaginary arguments

I'm done trying to please people.

It's getting me no where.