Wednesday, July 22, 2009

We're all laughing with God.

I'm sick of feeling like a failure. I know I'm not, but I can't ease this feeling.
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I think my life would make a perfect story on a conflicted teenage girl. But I'm sure we all feel this way, boys excluded of course.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" This question has haunted me for days. Mainly, because I don't have the answer for it.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

"Maybe it makes sense now. Maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a reason. Maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a why. Maybe somewhere there’s that thing that lets you tie it all up with a neat bow and bury it in the backyard. But nothing, not getting angry, not prayers, and not tears, nothing can make something that happened unhappen."- The United States of Leland
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These last few days, all I've desired to do is lay out on the grass and read a book. I want to cherish this beautiful weather.
I really like him. I hope that's enough for now.
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I'm currently reading this memoir. Her stories are fantasting, but heartbreaking.
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"It's said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been, but what about the man whose faced with what was, or what may never be, or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us, but sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealousy, and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be, and that's when we find our way to something better, or when something better finds its way to us."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose

I'm conflicted.
Why must I always be conflicted?
I need some clarity.

A friend introduced me to this song.
It really spoke to me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You got me living in the past.

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected." -Fight Club
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I'm dragging the past with me to every encounter I have. I suppose I expect to be disappointed. I shouldn't have this mentality. I know better.
Karma is proven frighteningly so everyday. I always receive what I dish out.
Kind words, kind thoughts, kind actions....Then repeat. Honestly, it's not so much of an effort anymore. I forgot how to be mean to people. Maybe one day I will attempt to relearn. Which makes me wonder...did I ever know how to stand up for myself?
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I feel like moving on today. Let's see if this carries on to tomorrow.